This time last year, I wasn’t in a great place.
No-one would ever have guessed, since I disguised it so well, but I was so unhappy.
There were many aspects of my life that I was extremely happy about. I’d been with Jake a year, my family were (and are) fab and I was studying a subject I loved at uni.
At the same time, there were things going on that I couldn’t hide from or pretend I was okay about. My granddad was dying from parkinsons, dementia and cancer… it wasn’t very nice to watch and we had no idea of how long he had, but we knew it was a very limited time. Around this time, I saw my cousin for the first time after his cancer diagnosis a year earlier. That was hard. Jack had no hair from the chemo, but he was slowly getting better.
This time last year, I quit dancing. It was something I had loved since I was two years old, but getting older comes with more responsibility and more pressure. You become expected to take it more seriously, but that’s not why I danced. For me, dancing was a release. It was a couple hours a week to let off some steam. But what happens when your safe haven becomes your personal hell? What happens when, the only place you felt you could be yourself becomes one of restrictions, and limitations?
It’s not something I can go into in detail. One day I sat in the studio practically paralysed, unable to motivate myself to get up. It’d officially given up. Not too long after I quit and I’ve not looked back.
Baker Boy Hat – Sparrowhawk Vintage
Earrings – Topshop
Polo – Fred Perry
Coat – iCandy
Jeans – H&M
Bag – Accessorize
Shoes – Dr Martens
Socks – Primark
Fast forward 12 months and here I am today. I’m happier than ever.
Jake and I recently celebrated our two year anniversary. I’m half way through my university degree. I just came back from a gorgeous trip to Florence and I’m eyeing up a trip to New York next year. I just bagged a two week work placement with a beauty and fashion PR company. I’m blogging frequently. I’m photographing bands I love. I have time to see my girls. I just feel so free and happy and like I have my mojo back, maybe even better. I’m doing things I never thought I would or could. Even this outfit post is something I’d have never dreamed of doing in a million years 12 months ago… maybe not even 6.
I just want to thank everyone that is dedicated to reading my blog, and those of you that may have just popped on for this post. I hope you stay to watch me grow. Thank you all for your support and for keeping me going. I love you all.